Bad Day
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Every once in awhile Deeks can't shoulder all the weight on him. So Callen does his best to step up for everyone. Part 10 of Deeks/Callen series


With everything that has happened to Deeks throughout this story and throughout the show as well I don't think that there's enough of him not smiling and just having a general bad day. Here's what one of those days would look like.

Warnings: None.

 **TUMBLR INFO:** I've had to change my Tumblr account because I got muted. I'm not all that surprised to be fair. Anyway, the name is now **SILVERMIDNIGHTWRITE.**

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A low sigh fell from Callen as he flopped back on the bed dramatically drawing laughter from his son. It had been a lazy Saturday in the household and for that he was thankful. Having two children to take care of was not always peaceful.

In the last three years he had found that he didn't know anything about stress before. At least not the stress that came with raising kids and now a teenager. He hadn't known exactly what he was expecting when he retired, but he loved every second of it.

Deeks had actually laughed at him when he compared raising Isabelle and Wesley to solving a case. He also agreed that it wasn't all that different. Especially if Isabelle decided that she didn't want to talk about something that was bothering her. Though his husband did point out that trying to question her like a victim or suspect would only make things worse.

It was shocking just how much he hadn't known about raising kids. He had thought that he was a good father, but then he started to take care of his children. Up until that point he was nothing more than a babysitter.

That had all changed and honestly he was happy about that. Yes, it was difficult in the beginning getting the kids to listen and respect him, but he had expected a bit of an adjustment period when he came back.

Though that wasn't the only thing that had changed. He started really staying at home and being a part of the family while Deeks started his career as a lawyer. It was a big change for everyone in the family.

Then there was the fact that Isabelle was a teenager all of a sudden. Alright, so it wasn't all of a sudden, but it did feel that way. It felt as if his children were growing up too quickly and he had missed all of it.

It wasn't something that he really liked to think about. Mostly because it made him realize just how odd it was that he was pretty much fully retired now. He might help with some ideas and planning if the team needed it, but for the most part he had walked away from that life.

If he was being truthful he fully expecting to regret the decision at least a little. He had only ever really known how to be an agent. As soon as he figured out when he wanted to do with his life that was it for him. Nothing else had mattered.

Then he fell in love with Deeks and they had a family. After that it was as if everything he had ever done had just been him biding his time until he got to that point and he actually liked that feeling more than he thought he would.

Looking back on everything that had happened since he retired he found himself proud. Deeks had taken to law like he was made for it. Isabelle was a firecracker of a fourteen year old. Wesley was simply unlike any person that Callen had ever met before. And he loved them all with his whole heart.

For the first time in a long time he felt completely at peace with everything that was going on around him. He was happy. Okay, so he still had a fair share of nightmares, but that was never going to go away. Though it had changed.

For the most part he was used to them surrounding people he cared about. Whether it be them dying or people with blank faces. Now though it was Deeks giving up on them and Isabelle and Wesley completely forgetting who he was.

Callen had woken up more times than he liked to Deeks sitting over him his eyes full of worry as he tried to wake him. On those nights he couldn't explain his nightmares. All he could do was curl up in his husbands arms and try to hold on.

In his mind it was pure luck that he still had a family. He wouldn't have blamed Deeks if he had decided he was done with the entire thing. Something that he knew the younger man hated. There might have been a bumpy road, but he firmly believed that Callen had more than made up for it.

"Papa!" Wesley whined crawling on top of him and planting himself on his chest a pout already in place, "You weren't listening! Daddy says that's rude. You have to listen to them or you'll hurt their feelings!"

Callen opened his mouth to apologize only for it to be cut off by a grunt when his son decided to bounce. As much as he loved Wesley and all the cuddles that came with the boy he was not nearly as light as he once was.

"You're right," Callen said wrapping an arm around the boy and sitting up, "I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

"Daddy's home!" Wesley grinned happily before it almost instantly turned into a frown, "And I'm hungry. When are you going to make dinner?"

Blinking a few times Callen peeked at the clock on the nightstand and felt like smacking himself. He and Wesley had spent the entire day cleaning the boys room. Well, he cleaned while Wesley played and undid all of the work he had done. He hadn't even realized it was dinner time.

"As soon as I order it?" Callen questioned with a shy grin.

"Pizza?" Deeks replied with a nod of his had, "Yummy."

"Pizza!" Wesley yelled throwing his hands up and nailing him in the face.

Feeling the surprisingly strong hand smack into his face Callen bit back a curse as pain exploded from his nose. Even with him having been an agent for so many years he felt as if his kids hurt him more than any case had ever before.

"Wesley," Deeks sighed from the door way.

The little boy scrambled out of Callen's lap causing him to grunt out once more. By the time the pain had passed and he looked up Wesley was in Deeks arms signing away happily about the day he and Uncle Eric had had.

Callen felt his lips tug into a smile before falling when he caught sight of his husband. To say that he looked bad was an understatement. By the look of him it was sheer force of will that he was still standing upright.

"Wesley," Callen called out causing the little boy then Deeks to look over at him, "Why don't you go grab your sister?"

The little boy nodded his head quickly wiggling his way out of Deeks arms so he could run out of the room. It took a moment but all too soon Deeks shoulders were dropping and he was practically stumbling over to the bed so he could sit down.

Without a second thought Callen wrapped an arm around the younger man's shoulders pulling him tightly against him. A shaky breath left his husband causing him to tighten his grip trying to warm the man up.

Placing a hand on Deeks chin he pulled him back so he could look into the ocean blue eyes. A sad smile came to his lips before he leaned forward and pressed a gentle, comforting kiss to the man's lips.

"Eww!" Isabelle's voice suddenly called out, "Do you guys have to do that?"

Pulling away Callen stared at Deeks and mouthing their daughters name. Instantly his husband was straightening up and grinning his normal grin. Moving his head to the side so Deeks could see their obviously disgusted daughter Callen tried not to think of how good he was at faking that smile.

He watched as the smile changed into a wicked grin as he stood up and made his way over to Isabelle. The teen had a wary look on her face until Deeks wrapped her in a hug peppering kisses on her head and face.

"Dad!" Isabelle shrieked squirming in his arms.

"I hope you're not saying anything," Deeks laughed amusement clear in his voice, "Cause I can't hear you."

Isabelle let out another loud laugh causing both Callen and Wesley to join in as well. It took a moment, but Deeks loosened his grip letting the teen finally get away. Still giggling she fell onto the bed a large grin on her lips.

"You're a monster," she signed with a fake pout on her lips.

"You know how to stop monsters right?" Deeks questioned his eyes darting to Wesley.

"Food!" the little boy yelled and signed practically bouncing where he stood, "Papa already said he was going to order pizza!"

"Pizza!"

Despite the fact that Callen knew his husband was faking it he couldn't help but smile as the man excitedly jumped up and down with Wesley at the thought of pizza for dinner. It was just a nice sight to see.

"Alright," Callen cut in standing up,"Think you and Wes can figure out one of the pizzas, Isabelle?"

Nodding her head she turned to her little brother a serious look on her face. Callen could admit that he liked pizza but the intensity that his kids went at it was interesting to say the least. It was like no other food existed.

"Guys," Callen said before motioning to the door.

A disgusted look came to Isabelle's face once more as she took Wesley's hand and left the room closing the door behind them. As soon as they were alone it was like the weight hit Deeks once more. Seeing his husbands shoulders sag Callen walked up to him and began to help him out of his suit.

Letting the shirt fall onto the floor Callen let his hands rest on Deeks shoulders his fingers slowly massaging into the tense muscles. A low groan fell from the younger man's lips his head falling forward to bury itself in Callen's shoulder.

He couldn't help but sigh as he pulled his husband closer to him. They both knew the signs of what was going on all too well, but they both still hated it. Especially since he always attempted to put on a smile for the kids.

Pulling back from the hold the older man moved them around gently until Deeks was sitting on the edge of the bed. Kneeling before him he gave the man a slight smile that his husband barely had the energy to return.

"Bad day?" Callen questioned though he already knew the answer.

"Not really," Deeks offered with a shrug, "It went about the way it always does."

"Then…?"

"I don't know, Callen. I'm just tired."

"Want to stay up here while we figure out dinner?"

"I was thinking a shower sounded good actually. Call me when food's here?"

Without waiting for a response Deeks stood up and walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him. Callen stared at the door for a moment longer listening as his husband turned on the water feeling defeated.

It didn't happen very often anymore, but there were days when Deeks simply stopped. It was scarily close to how he acted when he first lost his hearing. Almost as if there was nothing in the world that mattered anymore.

It wasn't as if it was difficult for either of them to figure out what was going on with the younger man, but Deeks hated talking about it with a passion. Unless he was currently having a breakdown than everything was fine.

Callen, on the other hand, was just completely lost. One would think after so many years that he'd have some idea how to help, but the only thing he could really do was hold the man like he was going to disappear and just wait.

Except he couldn't always do that. He had two kids downstairs waiting to order dinner and a husband that obviously needed some kind of comfort. How the hell was he supposed to pick between them?

A sigh fell from his lips knowing that he already had an answer. Isabelle and Wesley came before them no matter what. It didn't matter how much he wanted to join Deeks in the shower and simply hold him for awhile. He had to take care of them. Maybe after they went to bed he could hold Deeks.

Standing up Callen spared one more look at the bathroom door before leaving to go downstairs. He could hear Wesley talking excitedly about something. A soft smile came to his lips hearing that. It was always nice knowing that the kids were okay.

As soon as he walked into the room Isabelle was looking up at him worriedly. Of course she had realized that there was something going on with her Dad. She was too perceptive to not see it. She would make a good cop some day.

Going to the couch he placed a kiss to her forehead before doing the same to Wesley. Instantly the little boy was turning his attention to his Papa talking a mile a minute. Smiling he made sure to give the boy his attention even though he barely caught the words.

"Where's Dad?" Isabelle cut in staring up at him.

"He went to take a shower," he answered moving around to sit next to her, "He'll be out when the food gets here. Did you two decide what you wanted?"

Isabelle looked unhappy as Wesley began to explain what pizza he wanted. Without looking away from his son Callen wrapped an arm around the teen and pulled her close so she could cuddle into his side. For the rest of the conversation she was quiet; even as he ordered the food.

"Izzy?" Wesley questioned softly, "Are you sad?"

"A little," she responded with a shrug.

Nodding his head the little boy quickly climbed off the couch and moved to the other side making sure to grab a blanket on the way. Once he was back on the couch he laid the blanket over his sister doing his best to tuck her in.

"Are you better?" he questioned a serious look on his face.

"Much," Isabelle answering a smile coming to her lips.

Grinning happily the little boy curled up against his sisters side his eyes falling shut a moment later. With a smile of his own Callen began to to card a hand through Wesley's hair his own eyes falling shut as he savored the moment.

Callen had let himself get lost in the feeling that he felt himself starting to fall asleep. It wasn't until the door bell rang that the world came back to him. Groaning he let go of Isabelle and went to the door.

By the time he had the food Wesley was standing behind him holding his hands out to take the food himself. Handing the boy the food and telling him to go into the kitchen he started upstairs. He needed to see Deeks.

"Papa," Isabelle said from behind him causing him to spin around.

"Hey," Callen smiled softly, "I thought you were helping Wesley set the table?"

Looking down at his daughter Callen felt his heart both break and soar. She looked so worried about her Dad and he wanted so badly to simply comfort her, but he knew she'd see right through him. Until she saw Deeks herself she was going to be on edge.

"Dad?" Isabelle questioned sounding so much like a little girl

"Dad's having a rough day, sweetheart," Callen tried to answer pulling her into a hug, "That happens sometimes."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Of course he is. He just needs a moment to breathe. Your Dad is the strongest person I know. Nothing will bring him down for very long. Now go help Wesley. Okay?"

Isabelle still looked skeptical but she nodded her head and walk back down to the kitchen. Shaking his head Callen turned around and made his way into the bedroom shutting the door behind him before going to the bathroom.

Pulling the curtain to the shower open he expected to see Deeks standing under the water actually showering. Instead the younger man was sitting on the floor the temped water falling onto him. Without a thought to his clothes Callen fell to his knees and reached out to touch the man.

"G?" Deeks whispered brokenly his own hands coming up to grip his forearm tightly.

Reaching out Callen turned off the water before turning his full attention back to his husband. It had been awhile since he saw Deeks breakdown so far. He always caught himself spiraling and stopped before it got to this point.

With a hand on the man's jaw he directed his face up so he could see his eyes. They were filled with so much sadness and pain that it hurt to look at them. Once he was sure Deeks was focused on him he pulled his hands back knowing he had to let go even if he didn't want to.

"Talk to me," Callen signed knowing it was easy to tell he was pleading.

"I can't," Deeks sloppily replied.

"Sunshine-"

"You don't understand, Callen. I can't tell you what is going on because I don't know. I don't know why I'm sad or why I'm crying. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me!"

Seeing that the man was at the end of his rope Callen moved forward and pulled him into a hug once more. Deeks latched onto him burying his face in Callen's shoulder as the older man lifted him up to carry him into the bedroom. Keeping his hold on his husband he laid down letting the man cry into his chest.

Callen had no idea how long he laid there but he finally felt Deeks' hold loosen. Sighing he looked down and saw the younger man fast asleep. With a shake of his head he slowly climbed off the bed and made his way downstairs.

The whole house was quiet and he couldn't help but drop his hand to a gun that was no longer there. It wasn't until he got to the kitchen that he saw why everything was so quiet. The only person there was a half asleep Isabelle.

"Hey, Sweetheart," Callen greeted causing her to jump awake.

"Papa," she gasped out her eyes darting behind him, "Where's Dad? Is he okay?"

"He fell asleep. Where's Wesley?"

"Papa, it's almost midnight."

Cocking his head to the side Callen looked at the microwave and saw that she was right. He had spent nearly five hours trying to comfort Deeks. How had so much time passed without him realizing it?

"Wes and I had dinner and I put him to bed," Isabelle continued after a moment, "I was going to go to bed too, but I had to… I had to see you and Dad. I had hoped that he would come down with you or… something."

Walking over to the teen he wrapped her in a hug letting her latch onto him like Deeks had just done. Letting his own eyes fall shut he forced himself to hold back what he was feeling. At the moment his family needed him to be strong and he would be.

"Come on, Sweetheart," Callen whispered after a moment, "Let's get you to bed."

"But Dad," she tried to start only for a yawn to cut her off.

"He's having a bad day. I know it's scary, but that happens sometimes."

"How do we fix him? There has to be a way. Right?"

Sighing Callen walked his daughter into her bedroom and motioned for her to climb into bed. He could tell that she wanted to fight, but instead she simply did what he said. She was acting so docile and any other time he would have questioned it.

"You can't fix someone," Callen started tucking her into bed, "People aren't like toys. You can't pop a piece into place and hope for the best."

"Then how do we help Dad?" Isabelle questioned sounding more broken than she had any time before.

"We love him. Just like we always had."

"It can't be that easy."

"None of it is easy, but it is powerful. Loving someone is the strongest thing you can ever do. It's also the scariest."

"Scary? How?"

"Because when you love someone you give them the power to hurt you and trust that they won't."

"I don't want him to hurt though."

"Neither do I, but we can't control that. All we can do is be there when he needs someone to be strong for him. Okay?"

"Okay… Papa?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"Can we have a movie marathon tomorrow? Dad loves those."

"That sounds perfect. Now go to bed. I love you."

"I love you too, Papa."


End file.
